Are you a cheap skate?

You may not realise it but everyone else could be calling you a tight fisted b*****d behind your back. Well there's only one way to find out if they are — take the Scrooge Test!

Below you will find ten multiple choice questions. Work you way through them and them press the "Am I a Scrooge" button. Your computer will give a frank answer....

1. You're in the pub with a large group of friends and it's your turn to buy the round. Do You:
Jump up, shout "It's my round!" and run to bar and buy the round before anyone has a chance to say "Mine's a pint".
Drink extremely slowly so that someone else might buy the round out of sheer thirst.
Go to the toilet and don't come out until someone has bought the round.

2. You are in a restaurant and the meal and service was acceptable. On the bill it says "10% Service Charge included". Do you:
Pay the amount asked for.
Demand that the service charge is removed immediately — it's your right not to pay it.
Round up to the nearest tenner and tell them to "Keep the change!"

3. You're in a lottery syndicate and it's your job to check the numbers while everyone else is on holiday. You win the jackpot. Do you:
Wait till everyone comes back and share the good news.
Say nothing and hope no-one realises.
Immediately emigrate to Cuba where no-one will find you.

4. When you go shopping do you:
Go to the cheapest store in town even if it's several miles away.
Go to several shops: some things are cheaper in different shops, even if they are several miles apart.
Go to the first shop you come to.

5. When you make a phone call do you:
Wait till off-peak when it's cheaper.
Make the call when it's most convenient.
Reverse the charges. (Make a "collect call")

6. You have a close friend who has a birthday on Christmas day. Do you:
Buy them two presents (one for each of Christmas and their birthday)
Buy them one present.
Don't buy them anything — you don't waste your money on that kind of thing.

7. Where do you keep your savings?
Invested in a bank, building society, etc.
I don't have any, I spend all my money.
Under my mattress.

8. Which of these would be your favourite magazine:
Harrods Catalogue
Ikea Catalogue
Thrifty Tips

9. What do you do with your old newspapers?
Throw them away.
Reuse them: they make handy loo roll, table mats, draught excluders, etc., etc.
I don't have any: I read the papers at the local library.

10. And finally, if you found a fifty quid note in the street would you:
Hand it in at the nearest police station.
Go to the nearest shop and spend it.
Add it to your collection under the mattress.

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Copyright 2000 Paul Egan